Michael's Time Travel Adventures! Part 1: Sandra Blažić

This is the first installment of Michael's Time Travel Adventures! and as long as I'm in the present, I'll explain how this series is going to work. You see, I have what my doctor described as 'Acute Slaughter House 5 Syndrome', which sucks because it means I skip through time, experiencing different moments of my life out of the normal order, much like the main character in Slaughterhouse 5, by Kurt Vonnegut. It has also been called 'Time Traveler's Wife' syndrome, but that name didn't ever stick, because really, who cares about the time traveler's wife, right? It's the TIME TRAVELER we're interested in.

Anyways, one plus side to this disorder is that when I have my various time travel experiences, I can record the events in the form of movie reviews, game reviews, music reviews, gadget reviews, and interviews with famous celebrities, both live and dead! The crazy part is that my computer comes with me on my adventures, so that I may type these things and electronic-mail them to Kyle for this crazy site. Weird, right? So here is my first article.


When: April 18, 2029

What: Interview

Who: Sandra Blažić (Widow of the late Christian Bale)

Me: Thank you for meeting me today Miss Blazic, I know how many journalists have been trying to talk to you, given the recent tragedy, and I appreciate you choosing to tell your side of the story to Werewolf Bar Mitzvah first.

Blažić: Well thank you, and it’s pronounced Blažić, but you can call me Sandra. I couldn’t have gone to anyone else. I simply don’t trust the media anymore, but Werewolf Bar Mitzvah’s reputation for the last fifteen years has been incredible, I knew it had to be you.

Me: My first question would have to be simply: Why?

Blažić: (sigh) You journalists don’t tiptoe around, do you? (she wipes a tear from her eye) Well, to sum it up in one word, it was the fame. One person was simply not meant to be that famous. The letters, the calls, the telepathy mail, it was constant. It was just too much. People don’t realize how lonely it can be to have everyone in the world know your name, to have everyone watch your every move. On the outside he was a star, but on the inside…it was just too much pressure, he couldn’t allow it to go on.

Me: When you say it, are you referring to the recent religious movement, Baleism?

Blažić: Of course. Christian was not a savior, he was not any sort of messiah. Maybe he was a hero to thousands of people but really he was just an actor and just a man. I truly believe he…he did what he did to put a stop to the cult nonsense. But if he could’ve known how much the group was going to grow because of his death, he never would have.

Me: You say he was just an actor, but he truly was a hero to thousands, really millions of people. When the robot armies rebelled and gained control, he was the only one who knew what it would take to stop them.

Blažić: He played a significant role in the war, of course, but most of that was exaggerated by the press. He wasn’t a soldier or a scientist, just a man who was taught how to survive anything.

Me: Now, I know that most people in Hollywood 2 would say that his career really began with the success of the fifth installment of the Terminator films. But I believe there was another gem much earlier in his career which made it all possible.

Blažić: You’re talking about Newsies? Well, at the time I’m sure no one thought it would amount to much, and it took decades for it to really become the cult classic it became. But you’re right, without being asked to reprise his role as Jack Kelly in Newsies 2, he may not have ever gotten beyond mere Batman fame. (laughs) Really, it all seems so silly now, but I’m sure every actor felt that way about their work, before the change-over. Batman Begins and Dark Knight were really more for the kids.

Me: Yes, tell me about the change in Hollywood that eliminated every other actor and instead cast Christian in every role in every movie. How did that affect him?

Blažić: Well, he thought it was silly, and so did I. I mean he was flattered, of course, and many still say he deserved it, but I don’t see why every other actor deserved to be out of work those three and a half years. For Christian it wasn’t that hard, most of it was done with supercomputer hyperdigital effects. But still, he was glad things went back to the way they were after California sank into the ocean and Hollywood 2 was built.

Me: Well Sandra, that’s all we have room for today. Thank you so much for your time.

Blažić: Thank you, Michael, and thank you Werewolf Bar Mitzvah!

Well that’s it for now. Next time on Michael’s Time Travel Adventures!: March 9, 1977 interview with Roman Polanski. Should be a doozy! Goodnight, and Bale-bless us all.