Michael's Time Travel Adventures Part 2: Super Mario Bros. 2

So I woke up today, and I was in the year 1988. What a crazy time in my life! I didn't even bother checking the calender because I was way more excited about something my parents bought me yesterday. THE NEW MARIO GAME!!!! Those guys at Nintendo are geniuses for making a sequel after the first Super Mario Bros., I hope they keep it up. So here it is, my review of the new Super Mario Bros. 2!!!!!


When: 1988

What: Super Mario Bros. 2 review

I got out of bed. I threw in my Rush cassette. Cranked up Tom Sawyer. Unplugged my Atari and plugged in my Nintendo. Blew some air into the cartridge. Loaded her up. Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads.

Super Mario Bros. 2 is like an amazing, psychedelic dream, and the amazing psychedelic dream is like going to a circus on ludes. You start off by falling. That's right, you START OFF BY FALLING. From where? Damned if I know. You fall into a room that has a couple of bad guys which refuse to die when you jump on them. Instead, you just get CARRIED by them! That first jump on top of a baddy was when I realized just how different this game would be from the original. Once you figure out that you actually have to pick up one of them and throw him/her/it into THE OTHER bad guy, you move on down toward the bottom of the room, where moving right off screen takes you to the left of the screen, and vice versa in an infinite loop. This alone kept me occupied and entertained for about 20 minutes. When it was finally time to enter the big red door on the right, my real adventure began...

There are countless major differences between 1 and 2, the most important of which is that the player is not just restricted to Mario, but can choose between four characters: Mario, Luigi, Toad, and The Princess. All of the characters have different strengths and weaknesses (Toad is fast, Luigi jumps high, the Princess FLIES) and some are better for different levels than others. This is revolutionary, and the fact that picking a different character, while leaving everything else in the game the same, can change the whole experience literally makes the game 4x better than it would've been. To list all the differences between the original and the sequel would take forever, so I'll hit some of the highlights:

The ability to pick up objects AND enemies.
Magic potions that take you to a 'mirror-world' environment.
Mini-game between levels that plays like a slot-machine.
Health meter that extends after you are already big.
The ability to go back to a previous point in a level simply by walking towards the left of the screen (A...MAZING)

And so much more. The levels are so much more complex, allowing falls from great heights and travel (sometimes by rocket ship) high into the sky. The different terrains include clouds, caves, ice-worlds, deserts, and brick buildings. There are scores of new enemies, each completely unique and most of which provide challenges never before seen. The bosses range from cute new fighting styles to INCREDIBLY difficult, and as soon as you finish the game, you'll want to hit the reset button and start all over again.

There is a reason for the major differences though, and it is simply (and disappointingly) that the designers of Mario 1 did not design Mario 2. In fact, no one who even wanted to make a Mario sequel designed it.

The game is a redesign of the Japanes title Yume Kojo: Doki Doki Panic. I like to think I know what that means, but I don't. Despite the fact that the game is not totally original, we should not judge it differently, because gameplay is gameplay, and in a sense the elements of the game are original to mario and his friends. Right?

To sum up, GO OUT AND BUY SUPER MARIO BROS. 2!!!!! My official score is halfway between Heavy and Radical, and I'll probably never stop playing it. Ever.

Next time on Michael's Time Travel Adventures!!: A gadget review/interview in the year 2033 of/with the first A.I. robot with a mental handicap. Bring your tissues.